Most SaaS landing pages read like riddles. The founder spent weeks tuning the design while talking about how many features they have, but the user still can't answer the simplest question: "What does this thing do?"
You ICPs already have so much in their lives going on they no longer have time nor the energy to figure out how your cool features could save their lives.
I used to make this mistake myself. I'd written my landing page talking about the skills I had as a developer, how fast and how innovative I was, how much I knew and things I could build. People were impressed by the design, but it never made it click for them how I could actually help them! So they just bounced.
Look at my landing today. Now even a 12-year-old can say what I do and who I help in under 5 seconds.
That clarity didn’t happen by accident, it happened when I came across the StoryBrand Framework by Donald Miller. This is the main framework that I now use to guide my clients into writing a high converting copy for their SaaS landing before we create it. It's the best mental model I’ve found for writing landing pages that convert visitors into users.
Before we talk about how this framework works, it’d help to learn about the overall concept:
The Concept Behind StoryBrand Framework
Donald says in order to actually capture your audiences attention you need a story. A hero story where your prospect is the hero who’s trying to save the day. And you’re their confident guide who’s trying to help.
In other words, your copy should make the user feel understood before you ever talk about your product. They need to see themselves in the problem you describe, recognize the struggle, and then realize you’ve built the path out.
That’s the real job of your landing page, not to confuse visitors with clever words, but to make them instantly feel, “This is exactly what I’ve been looking for.”
The goal isn't to sound smart. It's to communicate the value you bring in the most efficient way.
1. Stop Being Vague About What Your Hero Wants
You’re not selling to everyone, you’re selling to a specific group of people. And they have real pain points. Talk to those directly.
Not:
Sounds big, means nothing.
Say instead:
Talks to agency owners who are struggling with client onboarding and don't want to invest in custom onboarding systems now.
Not:
Every SaaS says that. Nobody knows what it does.
Say instead:
Now it's obvious that you're talking to newsletter owners who are looking for a visual platform to publish their newsletters their.
Most of your competitors fail before the fold. They try to sound impressive with their headline instead of being clear. Be clear, and see how you can dominate.
Ask yourself: Can a stranger read your landing headline and instantly answer "What problem does this solve for me?" If not, rewrite it.
2. Own one main problem
Your product can be known for just one thing
Your product might target multiple pains, but you can be known for just one thing. Identify your best bet and repeat it over and over everywhere till it sticks.
The user's brain shuts down. Too many options create decision paralysis.
That's your umbrella. Everything else you offer supports that one clear promise.
Come up with a few soundbites and repeat them. Own one position. When someone thinks of [your category], they should think of your one thing.
Slack didn't say "We offer messaging, file sharing, integrations, video calls, and search." They said "Where work happens." One clear umbrella that covers everything they do.
Figure out your umbrella and put it everywhere: hero section, subheadings, testimonials, CTAs. Make it impossible to miss.
3. You Need to Own a Problem Your Prospect Has
People don't buy features. They buy relief from frustration.
If your landing page talks more about your product than the problem it solves, you've already lost.
Break the problem down into three layers:
External: "I can't track my subscribers."
Internal: "I feel blind and frustrated."
Philosophical: "I shouldn't need to be a data analyst to run my business."
When your copy hits all three levels, it resonates deeper.
Figure out the core problem your users have and talk about it everywhere. You need at least 10 places on your landing page addressing that problem and showing how you solve it.
Not
Say
The first version talks about you. The second talks about their pain and your solution. That's what converts.
4. Be Their Guide
In StoryBrand, every hero needs a guide. In SaaS, your product is that guide.
Position yourself like this: "I feel your pain, and I know how to get you out. I've done this for hundreds of people, and I know what I'm talking about."
Show empathy (you understand the struggle), then authority (you've solved it before).
Empathy: "We know how frustrating it is to lose leads because your forms break or your follow-ups get missed."
Authority: "We've helped 500+ sales teams close deals faster with automated workflows that actually work."
That combination (understanding plus credibility) builds trust. Users need to know you get their problem and you're qualified to fix it.
Don't position yourself as the hero who saved the day. Position yourself as the experienced guide who knows the path forward.
5. Give Them a Plan
Users want to buy, but they're still confused and unsure how things work.
Give them a three-step plan from their problem to your solution. Keep it simple. Complexity kills conversion.
Step 1: "Book a free session so we understand what you're dealing with."
Step 2: "We'll give you a custom report on what we think you should do."
Step 3: "We'll hold your hand and help you execute."
That's all they need to start imagining themselves succeeding.
Make the plan visible on your landing page. Show them the journey from where they are (frustrated, stuck) to where they'll be (clear, confident, successful).
Another example:
Step 1: "Sign up free, no credit card required."
Step 2: "Connect your data in 2 minutes."
Step 3: "See insights instantly."
The plan removes uncertainty. It tells users exactly what happens next, which makes them feel safe enough to take action.
6. Have a Strong CTA
Every good story needs a moment when the guide says "Let's go." Your call-to-action is that moment.
Tell them it's time to do business. Challenge them to take action now.
Bad CTAs: "Learn More," "See Features," "Explore Options."
These are passive. They don't push users forward.
Good CTAs: "Start My Trial," "Book a Call Now," "Get My Free Audit," "Launch My App."
Action words beat passive words. Make the CTA about what the user gets, not what they're clicking.
Even better: "If you're struggling with [specific problem], I think you should try our product. Would you like to start now?"
Direct. Clear. No games.
Add a transitional CTA for users who aren't ready yet: "Not sure? Watch the 2-minute demo." This keeps people in your funnel without pressure.
The primary CTA should be bold, visible, repeated multiple times on the page. Make it impossible to miss what you want them to do next.
7. Show Success and Failure
People act to avoid loss more than to gain reward. Show them both outcomes.
Paint the failure: "Keep wasting hours on manual reporting. Keep losing leads to broken systems. Keep guessing what's actually working in your business."
Don't scare them. Just make inaction visible. Remind them what happens if they don't solve this problem.
Then paint success: "You'll finally have clarity, time, and confidence in your data. No more guessing. No more frustration. Just clear answers when you need them."
End the story with transformation, the life after using your SaaS.
Show it visually through UI screenshots or customer results. Make them feel the payoff.
Success stories work: "Sarah saved 10 hours per week and closed 30% more deals in her first month."
That's real. That's believable. That's what users want for themselves.
Give them a vision of their future success. Then show them what happens if they ignore the problem. Both motivate action.
Final Take
Clear copy doesn't just explain your product. It guides users toward their own success
If users can answer these three questions within 10 seconds of landing on your page, your copy is doing its job:
- What does this do?
- Is it for me?
- What should I do next?
If they can't answer all three, rewrite your copy based on StoryBrand framework.
Start with the problem your users have, not the features you built. Position yourself as the guide who understands their pain and knows how to solve it. Give them a clear three-step plan. Make your CTA direct and action-focused. Show them what success looks like and what failure costs.
My clients have seen massive results since when we adapted this framework to their landing pages. It works because it's built on how humans actually make decisions, through story, clarity, and trust.
Say the clear part, not the clever part. Your conversion rate will thank you.
Next up: “Own Your Mistake: How I Pushed a Bug to Production” Subscribe to get it in your inbox next week.